I've been thinking a lot lately about the many blessings I've had in my life. Naturally this started back on Thanksgiving and my efforts to try and develop an attitude of gratitude, but the more I reflected over just the past two years of my life, the more overwhelmed I've felt by all of the blessings I've had in my life. I feel like I've lived an entire lifetime in just two years, and I can honestly say that if I walked out the door today and got hit by a bus, I would die a truly fulfilled and happy woman. Let me share with you just some of the highlights: I got to live in London for four life-changing months...
I traveled all over Europe...
...twice.
I let my hair down for a couple of summers and drove a scooter (still miss you, Mushu!!!)
I moved in and made friends with the most amazing group of roommates I've ever had...
...or ever will have.
I met amazing and inspiring people who changed me for the better...
...I reconnected with Holly and her beautiful children before she died...
I went on a road trip along the California coast with my friends...
...twice.
I finally did things I'd been wanting to do for YEARS like the Festival of Colours and Vegas and Zions...
...and was so glad I'd waited because I got to share those experiences with my dearest friends.
I made friends with a new group of roommates who I absolutely love and am enjoying getting to know better...
I have my crazy, goofy, weird, mixed-up family who all keep coming back like a bad penny (you all know I love you!)
I have my dream job at Studies Weekly, where I look forward to working full-time once I graduate!
I could keep going, but this alone is overwhelming.
Today I've been an emotional wreck for wonderful reasons. I got a letter in the mail from Bailey, who's out on her mission in Washington right now. In the letter she spoke of the most tender part of our friendship, and I was reminded once again of how much she changed me for the better. Sometimes we hit points in life when reaching out and taking hold of the savior's hand isn't possible for us because of fear or pain or whatever else. In those times, I'm convinced that God sends people to us to bring us back to the fold and help find Him again. For me, that person was Bailey.
As I was telling Mom about that letter today, it really hit me just what a God-send she was to me, and how much I miss having that girl in my life. That's pretty much where the cry-fest started. I just felt so overwhelmed that Heavenly Father would put so many special people into my life for me - just for me - to love me and be my friends, examples, and teachers. I have no doubt Bailey is doing the same with many other lost souls like me in Washington, and that countless others will one day find their joy and gratitude for her in their hearts overflowing from their eyes just as I did today.
Then I got a postcard in the mail from Lizzy today. Between her living in California and preparing to go on her mission to Texas (Spanish speaking, yeah baby!), it's been tough not knowing when our lives will bring us back together again. She signed the postcard with, "Someday in the future, I'm gonna come back to you."
This sent me into a new bout of swollen heart and teary eyes as I reflected over yet another amazing person who I love dearly and who changed me for the better. I remembered the day she took me to my first real concert (Ingrid Michaelson), and how she put her arms around me at the end of the song "Maybe." (the words go "Maybe in the future you're gonna come back around"). It's crazy how much she and I went through together in just one year.
There were a few other things that added to my joy and gratitude after this in regards to other matters that I feel are too sacred to write about on here, but what I can tell you is that it had to do with an answer to my prayers in regards to Holly and Brooke that I didn't see until tonight.
My heart was already full from all of this, and by this point Mom and Dad and I were heading out to go to the Carols by Candlelight. When we got there, you, Erica, Jason, and Garrison were already there waiting for us, and I was overjoyed to be there with you sharing in one of my favorite Christmas traditions. Hannah once told me that I have what is called "musical intelligence." In simple English, this means that music speaks to me. Tonight as I sat listening to the songs about Jesus coming into the world, I felt what I would describe as the true spirit of Christmas wrapping its arms around me in the purest warmth and joy.
When I got home tonight I sat down at the piano to play some Christmas songs before bed, and I started playing "I Cry the Day I Take The Tree Down" from Michael Mclean's "The Forgotten Carols." As I played and sang, I got to the part where the words go "I'm dreaming of Christmases when we'll be together again" and the memory of the first time I ever heard that song suddenly hit me.
Five years ago I wrote on this very blog of the Forgotten Carols:
"My favorite part of the show is at the very end, when the composer has everyone in the audience link arms with one another and sing 'We can be together forever someday.' There was something so special in that moment that I can never describe. As I linked arms with a total stranger next to me, I felt a special kind of love for her, and for everyone in that auditorium. For all those people that I’d never met before, I felt a familiar connection to. I knew that they were my family, that we were all children of God, and that I had known them in the life before this. I was touched to be reminded that we will all be together again with God and with Jesus Christ in the next life.
Then, as I felt this and thought of this, I got choked up because I started thinking about you and your mom and Garrison. Somehow I knew—I don’t know how or when it will happen—but I just knew that we would be together forever someday."
I had forgotten receiving that witness from the spirit so long ago that you and I would be together for Christmas again someday, and tonight as I sang that song it all came back to me and I broke down in tears of gratitude yet again. Sometimes it seems like too much for a wretch like me. I find myself feeling like Ebeneezer Scrooge from A Christmas Carol when he says at the end of the story, "I don't deserve it; I don't deserve to be this happy...but I can't help it."
I had forgotten receiving that witness from the spirit so long ago that you and I would be together for Christmas again someday, and tonight as I sang that song it all came back to me and I broke down in tears of gratitude yet again. Sometimes it seems like too much for a wretch like me. I find myself feeling like Ebeneezer Scrooge from A Christmas Carol when he says at the end of the story, "I don't deserve it; I don't deserve to be this happy...but I can't help it."
At this time of year I've been thinking more and more about the reason we celebrate Christmas, and what the birth of Christ really meant for all of us. For so many years now, Christmas was always about giving and receiving gifts and celebrating the birth of Christ for me. But now...now Christmas is a reminder to me that my sisters have not been torn away because of death or sin. They are not lost or forgotten about in some storm-tossed sea. They're spending Christmas with Jesus this year. And because He lives, they live. I know this gospel is true. I know that Jesus Christ was born into the world to atone for us. And because of this, I know that my family and I can all be together forever someday. To me, that alone is perhaps the greatest Christmas gift of all.
Merry Christmas, Gracie, I love you so much.
All my love,
<3 Katie Jo
