Lost in Boston

Dear Grace,

So I only just now realized, but I have neglected to record my latest adventure of galavanting around the lovely little town of Boston! I confess I've been somewhat distracted by a couple of things in my personal life that have kept me rather preoccupied (namely a certain charming young gentleman ;) and the fact that Mom and Dad moved to St. George), but I have determined that as I have a couple of days with plenty of time to kill, that I will endeavor to tell you all about it :)

So, after realizing that using snapchat was the easiest way to keep my mom and others updated on what I was up to and that I was not, in fact, dead, many of the pictures will be from that, haha.

Also, while it has often been my habit to give you a day-by-day play of what I did every moment, I think this time around I'll just cover the highlights of the trip for me, because I know how long-winded I can get haha.

So, when I first arrived in Boston, I started off by visiting the Boston Public Library...

Which was beautiful, and I enjoyed very much. However, I soon found myself in this hall where I sat at a table and put my head down to nap for an hour or two so I could function until I checked in to my hotel.

I was tickled to learn that there are actors and tour guides who wander around in costume, and on my first day  I saw a pair of British soldiers walking around. No clue what they were doing there, but I was delighted all the same :)

I also got to catch sacrament meeting out at the singles ward in Harvard. That walk through Harvard was GORGEOUS!

Anyway, after church I wandered around Harvard University for a bit...

...touched this guy's toe for good luck...

...and then went back to my hotel to change into more street friendly shoes...and pants... (note: don't ever wear new heels when you're walking around in the city, it is not an experience I recommend)...

...and then headed out to see Bunker Hill.

I felt curiously small standing in the shadow of something so significant. Those brave men who were willing to die and did die in the name of freedom...it made me question my own convictions to what I believe in. What must it have felt like to believe in something so strongly that you could defiantly stare death in the face and charge forward anyway?

Another awesome thing about Boston is the Freedom Trail walk, which is basically a brick path that hits all of the major historic points in the city. 

First stop, the Old North Church. Here, the two lanterns were hung to signal to Paul Revere that the British were coming by land, and from here is where Paul Revere began his midnight ride. 

I also toured Paul Revere's house, AKA the oldest building in the city...

...saw the Old State House, in front of which the Boston Massacre happened...

And came across this kooky outdoor book shop which I thought was pretty sweet!

My last day in Boston it was pretty rainy and damp. It's the kind of weather my brother describes as the 'sneeze,' where it's not technically raining, but at the same time it's kind of misting, and everything is kind of humid and wet, even under your umbrella...anyway, basically I had a bad hair day, haha, but I didn't let that stop me from making the most of it.

After a walk in the park, I took a tour at the Boston Tea Party Museum, which was pretty cool, I have to say.

I then spent the rest of my time waiting for my flight by wandering around Beacon Hill, which is a beautiful neighborhood in Boston. If you're ever in Boston and enjoy scenic neighborhood walks, I recommend this place!

Anyway, I stopped up at the famous Acorn Street for some pictures, had lunch in a little cafe down on the main road, and then headed off to the airport to catch my flight home.

This was the first time I've ever actually gone somewhere totally on my own, and I admit I was a little nervous before I got there. I worried that being out on my own would get lonely or boring, but as it happens, I had a blast! I feel so blessed to have had the time, means, and opportunity to visit that historic city, and look forward to going on more trips like this in the future!

I love you Gracie, I hope you're doing well!

Love Katie Jo <3

Two Baptisms and an Endowment

Dear Grace,

I've slacked off in the last couple of months, simply because I was finishing up school and of late I've had a few other things going on in my life that I've been spending a fair amount of time and energy sorting through.

So, first off, March 12th was a freaking AWESOME day! Why? Because you and Garrison got BAPTIZED!!! If that wasn't already cool enough, I had the privilege to take out my own endowments in the temple as well that very evening. I wish I had taken the time to write down all of my thoughts on that day sooner, but life caught up with me, I guess, and I didn't really take the time to do so until I was asked to give a talk in Church about the blessings of the temple.

I want to share those thoughts with you now, if I may. I wish there was a way to convey all that I've felt and experienced, but words are but a weak means of capturing and sharing the things I now carry in my spirit.

Still, I'll do my best:

There are many blessings of the temple that we all are able to receive and enjoy when we live worthy of them, whether they be peace, clarity, safety, revelation, or doing work for those beyond the veil. For me, the temple is what brings families together and allows us to be together forever with our Heavenly Father.

All through my growing up years, my eldest siblings were unable to be a part of my life because of radical lifestyle they chose to lead. I remember as a child how I longed to have my brothers and sisters around like all of my friends did, even if we were to fight all the time.

Then, about a year and a half ago, an unexpected turn of events took place in my life just three days after my 22nd birthday. My oldest sister, Brooke, died suddenly of an overdose. Naturally a lot of soul searching and ups and downs followed, and I reflected long and hard about what it all meant. Ultimately, that experience strengthened my testimony and brought me closer than ever to the Lord, and surprisingly enough, to my sister as well. It was only six months later that I learned that the Lord could strengthen my testimony and love for Him even further, when my second oldest sister, Holly, also died, and in very miserable circumstances at that.

Suffice it to say, I struggled for a long time. Holly was the one sibling I had been closest with, and the fear of having lost her for eternity weighed heavily on my mind for months. It was during this time, that I had an experience that filled me with a desire to go through the temple to take out my own endowments. I set a goal to go to the temple and set a date for that special day, in the hopes that I would be able to do my sister’s temple work for her when the time came. No sooner had I done this than the adversary threw everything in his power against me to prevent my going.

I went through a period of despair. I feared I would never be ready to go to the temple, and felt like a failure and a weakling. Still, despite those challenges, I was determined to go, and I pushed forward and continued to prepare.

As the day drew closer, I received a letter from a mission friend of mine, in which she wrote, “The time for your endowment draws closer and closer, and I can’t help but be so anxious for you. The endowment is a literal gift, and one that I’m anxious for the lord to give you. Jo, you have so much light and knowledge awaiting you. It’s a blessing given to you based upon your faithfulness. You have a sacred responsibility to keep it that way - sacred.”

I can now tell you that the fiery darts of the adversary I experienced were necessary in preparing me to receive this special gift.

When the big day finally came, I excitedly presented my recommend at the front desk and entered the temple with my mother at my side. It was during the initiatory that, although I couldn’t see them, I gradually became aware of the presence of two women behind the temple worker in the room with me. And then the voices of Brooke and Holly came very clearly to my mind, “We’re here!”

Already overwhelmed by this blessing, during the session at the point in which we pray for the names of those on the temple prayer roll, I was struck with the memory of a time not so long ago during which my own name had been among those being prayed for. It overwhelmed me to realize that it was because of those who had attended the temple and prayed for me that I had been blessed to be upheld during my darkest hours. What’s more, I was blessed to now have the opportunity to bless the lives of others on the temple role just as I had been blessed.

It was then that I began to understand that you don’t have to have all of the answers to receive God’s blessings, and as my mission friend later wrote to me, “...you don’t have to understand to receive any of the blessings of the temple, you just have to live worthily of them. Bask in the the glory of, unlike school, not having to know anything to get an A+ and a gold star.”

Yet another blessing came, which later came to light when I learned that the same temple worker who had helped me through the veil was the woman who had been a second mother to my father during a difficult period in his own life.

The last experience came when I at last entered the celestial room. Out of all the people I had invited, I was the last to arrive, and as I walked into the celestial room I was greeted by the greatest sense of homecoming I had ever known. All of my family and several of my dearest friends were there to receive me.

For me personally, the work we do in the temple is among its greatest blessings, because it allows all of God’s children to have the opportunity to be with their loved ones forever. It gives everyone the chance - whether or not they take it - to come home and be received by their loved ones just as I was received by mine that night.

I can't tell you what will happen in the future. I can't tell you that things get better or worse, or that life may drag on monotonously forever into the abyss. I can't tell you what it will be like on the other side, and I definitely don't presume to know much of anything or have more than a handful of answers. For me, though, I don't have all the answers that I'd like to have, but God has given me the answers that I need to keep going. In time, more will come, I'm sure.

I have one last thought for you today, which has nothing to do with anything, but I wanted to share it anyway. I had a cool thought recently amidst the ramblings I was having with my brother Josh while I was driving him home. We were talking more or less about how one heals from loss by serving others. The first thing that came to my mind was something an old seminary teacher said once back in high school, "Whatever the lord lays his hands on lives. If He lays His hands on a sick man, he lives. If He lays His hands on a government, it lives. If He lays His hands on a marriage, it lives..."

You know, there's this statue somewhere in Europe where a statue of Christ was destroyed during the bombings in WWII. The people loved the statue so much that they gathered all of the fragments and reassembled the statue. Sadly though, the only part of the statue that was unsalvageable were His hands. After some debate about possibly hiring a sculptor to make new hands for the statue, they chose to leave it as it was, and instead created a plaque for it which reads, "You are my hands."

Thinking of all this then brought me back to the idea of serving others and being the lord's hands. When you are getting outside of yourself and serving others, you become the very thing he lays upon you to heal you: His hands. What better way then, to have God lay His healing hands upon you than to become them yourself?

I then mentioned how it's so hard for us as human beings to wrap our minds around such a backward concept of helping others in order to heal ourselves, when in our minds we think, "But I'm the one who's hurt. I'm the one who needs service." 

I love you so much, Gracie, and I hope you're doing well.

All my love,

<3 Katie Jo

Blessed Beyond Measure

Dear Grace,

I know some of this is old news, but I have not yet written about or shown pictures of some of these things, so just bear with me!

This year, for the very first time I got my own Christmas tree (which the roomies and I made an evening of by watching Christmas films and making strings of popcorn to hang up).

Next, Mom and I went to The Forgotten Carols this year together (at my insistence, as I'm sure you gathered after my last entry). We took an alternative route from the freeway to get there, when we happened upon this lovely sight:

The Tree of Life!!! I'd heard about it this year, but had had no idea where it was, and had been sad to miss the lighting of it, but what a pleasant surprise. 

We had a bit of a learning experience finding it, too. I usually take Redwood Road to avoid traffic, but Mom suggested that we take a different road on the other side of the freeway, which I didn't want to do. But, after a bit of gentle pressing on her part to "just try it and see" I relented and we took the other road. That's how we happened upon the Tree of Life.

I was reminded of the many times in my life I've had it in my head how I want to do something, and God tells me to take a different route, even though I'd rather do it my way. In the end though, when we listen to Him we are blessed with even more things than we could ever have hoped for.

Next, I attended the Yule Ball. Yes. THE Yule Ball, as in Harry Potter, and wizards and owls and magic and glitter and dancing....It was awesome.

Roommate Cassandra (who will be an amazing wifey - boys, ask her to make you her famous chili. If you don't believe in God, you will after eating her food) did my hair for me and made it look like the very work of magic.

Then I got all dolled up in my favorite (and only) evening gown and met up with a group of friends from work at the ball.

As it turns out, one of my coworkers (Joe) actually used to do ballroom when he was in school, and as he and I were there without dates, we ended up dancing together several times. Can I just say HOW FUN ballroom dancing is when you have a good partner to lead you?! Joe is hilarious, fun, and a wonderful dancer. How in the world he's still single is a plum mystery to me.

On Christmas Eve, we went down to visit Holly and Brooke's graves. We lit illuminarios, sang Silent Night, and then I read a poem Michelle sent out to the family last year:

I'm spending Christmas With Jesus This Year

I see the countless Christmas trees,

Around the world below.

With tiny lights, like heaven's stars,

Reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular,

Please wipe away that tear.
For I'm spending Christmas,
With Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs,
That people hold so dear.
But the sounds of music can't compare,
With the Christmas choir up here.

For I have no words to tell you,
The joy their voices bring.
For it is beyond description,
To hear the angels sing.

I can't tell you of the splendor,
Or the peace here in this place.
Can you just imagine Christmas,
With our Savior, face to face?

I'll ask Him to light your spirit,
As I tell Him of your love.
So then pray one for another,
As I lift you eyes above.

Please let your hearts be joyful,
And let your spirit sing.
For I'm Spending Christmas in Heaven,
And I'm walking with the King.

~Wanda Bencke~

We are so blessed to know where we go after this life, and it's strange that my grief over my sisters being gone has been swept away. I think perhaps it's because I know without a doubt that they are with me always, now, and that although our time of being together on earth is done, we'll all be together forever in the eternities. 

Next, I had an adventure and learning experience in dying. No, never you fear, my pet, I did not almost get myself killed. I got a "red" coat for Christmas, which we all quickly came to realize was actually more of a road-cone orange. Rather than waste money buying a new coat, I insisted on dying it to a more red color. I failed on the first try, learning that regular fabric dye does nothing to synthetic fabric, but works WONDERFULLY on organic materials. For instance, a hand...

...turns out there was a hold in the glove. But, my second try (with synthetic fabric dye) met with more success, and now I have a red coat! (and normal colored hands).

Behold! The coat of a more pleasing pigment! My inner Brit is quite pleased. Also, my new valiant steed, whom I have christened "Ted," as in "Haaaaave you met Ted?"

If you've never seen How I Met Your Mother, this reference will be lost on you, and you make me sad.

My first road trip in Ted took me to visit the family in St. George for Dad's birthday weekend, where all of the roomies and I got together for dinner and a show together before Jamie left to go serve her mission in Rome, Italy.

I love this gospel so much, and I feel blessed beyond measure for the way it always seems to give me opportunities to meet such amazing people, like this group of girls I've been living with this year.

I love you Gracie, and I'm so grateful to have you in my life again.

All my love,

<3 Katie Jo

Franklin, The Turtle

Dear Grace,

Well, I'm sad to say it, but it finally happened. I got into my first car wreck. Yes, sadly, my dearly beloved Franklin has gone to dwell with our god in the great parking lot in the sky :'(

It's funny how getting into an accident has a strange way of making me feel so blessed. There were kind strangers who helped push my car into a parking lot, my parents who both came out to help me, the fact that this happened on a long weekend which gave me enough time to find a replacement, and my completely amazing roommate Meghan who willingly dropped everything and came to be with me, drive me home, wrap me in a blanket and make me a cup of tea, and then listen to me blubber about how sad I was to part with the car I've created so many memories with over the years. 

(Meghan AKA best wifey EVER. Fellas, start lining up for this lottery of a woman.)

It's funny how losing things has a way of opening your eyes to so many blessings. For me, I have the best parents in the world, the best of friends, my dream job, my life, my health, and the support and guidance of a loving heavenly father who strangely enough helped me to be prepared for this accident long before it ever happened.

I say this because first off, for no reason in particular I had been car shopping for a month already before the accident, and I had felt compelled to do a fair amount of research on what type of car I wanted and to determine whether I could afford a new car right now, which I was amazed to discover I could.

Second, my school schedule got about as messed up as it could get, which oddly enough allowed me to work more hours each week, thus providing a way for me to pay for things involving a car. On top of that, the refunds I got from student loans gave me near to the dollar the amount I needed for a down payment on the car.

Then more blessings came the day after the accident. 

My roommate Meghan happens to work near my own workplace, and was able to give me a ride to and from work the next day. When I got to work, my coworker Wendy saw me walk in and immediately jumped up and ran over to give me a great big hug and tell me how glad she was I was all right. Then she contacted her husband and the two of them tag-teamed for the rest of the day to help me find a new car.

(Wendy and her husband, Chet)

Then my coworker Cindy...

...(the company massage therapist and a dear friend of mine) learned of my accident and made time in her busy schedule to give me a massage (on account of my getting some pretty wicked whiplash).

Then Dad spent the better part of his weekend searching online and then driving me around the county, insistent that I test drive a number of cars so I would be sure that the car I chose was the one I really wanted. Ultimately, Dad found the exact car I wanted at good price, and then helped me with all of the big and scary paperwork and insurance. My dad is the best man I know. I don't know what I did to deserve him, but I really don't know what I'd do without him!

(Best. Daddy. EVER!!!)

Last of all, I have ten years of memories tied to that wonderful old death machine that I get to keep forever. Road trips, deep conversations, people I was able to serve, places I was able to go, and the countless times it was a refuge for me when I had nowhere else to go. 

Needless to say, my old friend Franklin will be sorely missed!