Be Made Whole

Dear Grace,

I've had some thoughts on my mind of late that I want to share with you, whatever they may be worth. Going through all the turmoil of the last year threw me into a state of confusion more than once, but I hope that I have been learning the lessons God has been trying to teach me, and I'd like to share those with you.

First lesson: be receptive.

Not just to presents on your birthday or to compliments, but to things that too often I brush aside. Whisperings from the still small voice of things I may not want to do, help and support from other people, and the most surprising one of all, love.

When my sister Brooke died back in October, I held on to the belief that because I didn't have a husband to be my support that it was my job to be a support to everyone else in the family. I felt like I had to get through that loss on my own. But God put Bailey, Elizabeth, and Sidney in my life back then to ease me into opening myself to love and support from people.

Then in April my sister Holly died and other trials on top of that came. I remember feeling so overwhelmed and alone in the world - hurting so much that it felt like even God couldn't heal my heart anymore. The weight became so heavy that I knew I couldn't do it on my own. And that's when He brought Madeline and my best friend Hannah to me.

Through Madeline, I learned to accept that someone loved and cared for me enough to be my rock in my lowest and ugliest hour.

Through Hannah, I was on the receiving end of the most overwhelming Christlike love one friend can ever show to another. Time after time she patiently listened to me when I needed to talk, offered words of comfort, support, and advice, took me on drives, made me laugh, prayed with me, prayed for me, shared scriptures, conference talks, and her own life experiences, and in every way acted as a disciple of Christ. It was because of her that I was able to make it through and be healed.

Second lesson: hang on and keep going.

I confess that there were a couple of days when I didn't know how God expected me to live through another day. I truly believed that I couldn't possibly keep going. Yet somehow the end of the day would arrive, and I would find I had kept going. I was still hanging on. There were days when I would talk to God and say, "This is way too much. There's no way I can handle all of this. I'm not strong enough." Yet amazingly, looking back, I WAS strong enough, and I can tell you this now: You can keep going. You're not alone. You are strong enough. You will get through it.

Third lesson: "be made whole"

This is something I'm working on within myself right now. While it's important to be receptive to love and help, it's equally important not to let it turn you into a drain. The path to healing should be to 1) ask for help 2) receive help, and 3) accept that you've been healed, and move forward.

Part of healing is not only having faith to be healed, but to also accept when you are healed. One thing I was amazed to realize today is that nowhere in any scripture does Jesus ever say "be thou healed." Most often he uses the words "clean" or "whole." I think the reason for this is that when Christ heals us He doesn't just close up our wounds and take away our pain, but also restores our ability to give and serve others - essentially making us "whole."

I would even go so far as to say that by receiving healing, it becomes our responsibility to pay it forward. Have you ever noticed how every time Jesus heals someone He often tells them "go"? "Go and sin no more" "Arise, take up thy bed, and go unto thine house" "See thou tell no man; but go thy way" "Go shew yourselves unto the priest" "Thy faith hath made thee whole. Go in peace." What I imagine he's saying is "I've healed you. Now go and do the same."

This post is long enough for today, but know how much I love you Gracie, and I hope you keep Christ in your heart always.

All my love,

Katie Jo <3