Don't Let Your Dreams Be Dreams

Dear Grace,

So much has happened since I last wrote on this blog, I don't even know where to begin.... Part of the reason I haven't updated for so long is because I was writing your letters by hand for a while, but now that you've moved, I don't have an address to send your letters to. I have no way to keep writing to you other than this. My only hope is that one day you'll get the chance to read all of my letters and know that I never gave up on you.

So to start, I had a very difficult year this last year down in Cedar City. The reason for this was because of something I struggle with called "social anxiety," also known as perpetually shy disorder. I didn't really have a problem with it until this last year, and I can't tell you just why it's gotten so bad, but I really have a hard time meeting new people and making new friends. Anyway, long story short I got to a point where I needed to come home where I could heal and start to learn some healthier social habits. I still struggle with this issue every single day, but I'm definitely in a better place than I was before, and I'm gradually working toward becoming a better person as I attend UVU.

Some exciting news as of a few weeks ago: I've been accepted into the London study abroad program for this winter semester! I'm going to live in central London for four months with a group of BYU students, and I'm crossing my fingers that this will be a great opportunity to make some new friends and meet a lot of new people. I'm terrified and exhilarated at the thought of what the future may hold for me, but I'm determined to be optimistic.

Kurt got married this summer to a wonderful girl named Megan, and they're very happy and in love. They got a house and a dog that they named Gus, and he's just a little hairy ball of sunshine in all of our lives. Also this summer (following a rush of impulse of reaching for my dreams), I decided to get a moped, which I've been riding around on for the last three months, and I absolutely love it.

The thing that really set all of these events into motion for me in my life all started when I went to Megan's wedding shower. Kurt came in for a minute with Gus, and as I sat there watching the three of them, I realized that Kurt had some of the most important things that I wanted out of life - marriage, a house, and a dog. A week later I was sitting in my apartment in Cedar and it hit me that I had just finished my second year of college and I still hadn't done anything that I really wanted to do in life.

That's when I started asking myself: "What am I waiting for? Why am I waiting around for a better time to go after my dreams?" Why had I put them off, thinking I'd get around to them later when I was older, when I had more money, when I had more time, when it would be safer? I realized that there is no such thing as the perfect day, and that the right time to go after your dreams is right now. So, I called up Dad and told him my thoughts, and then I told him that I wanted to go to Europe, and regardless of whether he and Mom came with me, I was going. All he said in reply was, "Let's do this!"

Thus the planning of our trip began, which led to my buying a moped, and which also led to my applying for the study abroad program. It feels so good to finally be realizing some of the things I've only ever dreamed about before, and the reason I had never gone after what I wanted was because I'd never believed that I could make it. But now these things are really happening - my dreams aren't just dreams anymore, they are my reality. They are my reality because I found the courage to believe in myself and pursue them.